Dad's Day

Hello Fathers and Dads of our families - I am Blu and I am inspired to share some ideas on improving your lives. Of course as a parent you know what's best for your children, these are some helpful reminders when our lives get busy. I share stories and having worked many years with teenagers and parents, I write for you. Kindly sign up with your email to get updates on selfcare and well-being, and if you would leave a note for me in comments, I would greatly appreciate it. Please share with me your stories, and what you need more of. Be well and take good care of yourselves.

You have one of the toughest jobs as a parent because you're the man of the house, and in some cases, the breadwinner, so balancing your work with being a good dad is forefront on your mind. Whether you're a single dad or one who is married, this will come with various responsibilities depending on the dynamics in your home. And, oftentimes, you may feel you can do more, more for your kid and more for your family. What is your day like and your to-dos, and how can you make it through, because you are expected to be the rock in this family? How can you still have time for your kid even when you're dead-tired or exhausted from your 8-10 hour shifts at work? You may even have 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. And if you work with your hands or in construction, having the energy to maintain yourself and then spend time with your family can be equally as hard. Figuring out and prioritizing the things you have to get done, driving the kids to and from baseball practice or prepping their meals in between practice, and then figuring out dinner can be stressful. Dads, you bear the brunt of the work, and sometimes it's thankless. You're just expected to do more because you are the man of the house. So how can you manage all of your to-dos without getting angry or frustrated and being hard on yourself? And do all this without shutting down, including your wife or girlfriend? When you have paid for everything, done the laundry, bought the groceries and driven them to and from school, and made sure the kids are okay. How can you still be the best dad ever nowadays without buying your kid everything they ask for?

First off, you have to be okay yourself before you can tackle all of the things your wife or girlfriend needs you to do. Secondly, if you are a single father, things become even harder because you probably only see your son/daughter once a week and on alternating weekends, and you do want to make the best of your time together. Without worrying about is this really enough, what can I buy or do more of for them? Well, I tell ya, less is more with kids. If you buy them too much, they will just want more and better products (eating out, games, clothes, sneakers, designer clothing, etc.). The list of expenses will continue to grow. And then you won't be able to keep up financially or emotionally. Instead see how you can create quality time with your children and show them the value of family time together. There's nothing like taking your kids to a soccer or baseball game, where, you can watch a game together and have a great time doing so. Or you can play a sport together (volleyball, basketball, football) to show them what teamwork and sportsmanship is all about. You could even go fishing and teach your son or daughter how to catch fish. Alright, if you don't know how to fish, no big deal, rent a fishing boat charter and someone else can show you guys. The idea here is to spend time together, and enjoy your time by learning or doing something meaningful besides just buying your kids material things that they use alone in their room. Now I know: easier said than done. Your kid, I'm sure is stuck on Call of Duty or Fortnite, MineCraft, Roblox, GTA 5, etc. You probably can't even get a word in edge-wise when you ask them to do something, and they roll their eyes at you. And this isn't your fault, times have changed. And gaming is what's in, and the amount of screen-time now is crazy between hybrid learning and on-site schooling schedules. They're super distracted, and no, they're not listening. I hate to break it to you. This is essentially why the outdoor activities, and getting creative with how you connect with them more is key to building a better relationship with your son or daughter. Things are just that: things. Grabbing some lunch or going out for some ice cream on a hot summer day are the moments they're going to remember - not all the stuff you buy them. Another way to connect with them is picking them up from practice, although they'll probably be exhausted from all the running around. Making the most of those few minutes even before you drop them off at their friend's house can also be quality time for both of you. And you can use these precious moments to build communication with your son or daughter. They need you too even though it may seem they are carefree and or rebellious.