I can't imagine the trials or the strife you've experienced . . . I only know that you're here. You are still standing even after a failed marriage, even after so much loss, even . . . after love has failed you. I only know that you are here to tell your story and to share what has happened in your life. You live . . . And I'll tell you: beginning again sucks; it rips you up all over again. And each time you begin again, you lose apart of your soul, all that you know is taken . . . and what are you left with? The new, the unknown, and hell,
it's the scariest place you'll find. Because you only knew yourself as the wife of your husband and mother of your children. But there is life after your marriage, even after death, after so much loss, and having your children.
Being strong, and building hope in yourself again is a process. And you have done so much for your kids and your family - you have held it all together. Whether it means being there for your kids, your parents and paying the bills so that you can manage your home. Taking care of everyone in your life. All of this hard work is for the life you thought you had. Well, you still have it, your life just looks a little differently now. And there is a new dynamic. When you feel sad, it's okay . . . grieve the old life you had, and then say goodbye to it (take some time if you need).
Now, once you're ready to start over, make a list of what you would like to do first. Lists always offer a sense of accomplishment, and your list should include smaller to-dos (everyday daily routines and things you need to do for your family and kids). However, your "Starting Over" list should be a bigger picture - think of what you want in your life in the next few months. But you begin working towards this goal now, today. The first thing I want you to write down is I am worthy, the second point I am loved. Next I am beautiful and I invite new life experiences into my world. From this list you will begin to welcome and invite only positive thoughts into your life. These self-affirmations will help one to remember that you deserve to feel good, so say them several times a day. And as you practice saying one phrase, close your eyes and envision the ocean or the sea, a place of warmth and comfort. Next, close your eyes and visualize this calming space and feel the words emanate, breathe from within. Finally, breathe in through your nose and out through your nose as really feel your freedom in this time and space.